Final Chicken Audits and Highway Naps: Leaving Base Camp

We officially rolled out at about noon on Friday.

Once Shadow came sprinting out to the yard with her breathless "intelligence report" about the missing food bucket, I knew the clock was ticking. The humans were finalized, the keys were rattling, and Shadow was already trying to claim the co-pilot seat. But while she handles logistics, I handle the real work. I couldn't just hop into the motorhome without running a final, comprehensive security sweep of my most critical sector: The Chicken Coop.

The 24-Bird Accountability Count

Leaving the property for a long summer haul means making sure the home front is locked down. I marched down to the coop to personally account for all 24 chickens.

Let me tell you, getting two dozen birds to stand still for a roll call is a nightmare. It took me quite a while to track down every single one of them in the grass, but I didn't stop until all 24 were safe and accounted for.

While I was down there, I ran a full diagnostic:

• Water Stations: Checked and verified.

• Perimeter Fence: Secured.

• Intruder Scan: Double-checked the brush line for unauthorized squirrels or any sneaky four-legged trespassers trying to move in on my flock while we’re gone. Zero threats detected.

With the asset protection phase complete, I finally cleared myself for departure.

Wheels Up and EYES DOWN

I took my designated position inside the "Dog House on Wheels" and watched our Florida base camp drift away through the glass.

I’ll be honest with you: once we hit the open highway, my job gets incredibly boring. There aren't many security breaches to handle at 65 miles per hour on the interstate. No strange dogs to bark at, no chickens to keep in line, and no unauthorized squirrels. Since the perimeter was inherently secure, I did what any good officer does during transport—I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I needed to conserve my energy anyway. I knew the moment that big engine shut down at our nightly stopping point, I’d be needed on the ground for a full site inspection.

Setting the Record Straight

Shadow likes to think she’s the Queen of this rolling palace just because she sits up front and stares through the big windshield. But let’s be real for a second. We all know the truth: without me making sure the perimeter is clear, the chickens are safe, and the concrete pads are secure... this entire operation would fall apart.

I let her have her little crown. After all, a real manager doesn't need a title to know who actually runs the house!