🥓 The Great Bacon Betrayal at Florida Caverns State Park

Human leash-holders, I have been deceived. Lied to. Betrayed in the most heartbreaking way imaginable.

Today we pulled the "Dog House on Wheels" into Florida Caverns State Park. The humans were talking up all the cool stuff we were going to see, but then I heard them use the single most glorious word in the human language: BACON.

Specifically, they were talking about going down into the caves to see the famous "Cave Bacon."

Now, as Chief of Security, I immediately formulated a tactical plan:

1. Enter the cave.

2. Locate the giant subterranean bacon vault.

3. Secure the bacon by eating all of it before Shadow could get her paws on it.

I trotted down the trail with my tail wagging so fast it was practically powering the RV's auxiliary generator. My nose was working overtime, ready for that rich, salty, hickory-smoked aroma.

We got to the rocks, I looked down, and... IT WAS LIMESTONE.

Just solid, hard, cold rock that sort of had stripes on it if you squinted! No sizzle. No grease. No bacon smell whatsoever! Just a bunch of wet, mineral-encrusted stone hanging off the cave walls. Who named this place?! Who looks at a rock formation and calls it bacon without supplying actual bacon as a backup sample for the security team?!

Shadow didn't make it any better. She just sat there, gave me that smug PR look, and said, "Patches, it’s a flowstone formation caused by mineral deposits dripping over thousands of years. It’s geological art."

Geological art? It’s a scam!

0/10 for food accuracy. However, I will admit the surrounding shaded park trails were pretty nice for a walk—once I recovered from the emotional damage.

Tail wags (and crisp strip requests),

Patches 🐾

While Shadow and Patches were busy hunting for "Cave Bacon," we were making sure we didn't get lost! If you're planning a visit to see the formations for yourself, here is the "human" intel:

• Location: Florida Caverns State Park is located in Marianna, FL, just a few miles north of I-10. It’s one of the few places in Florida where you can see dry caves!
• The Bluff Trail: This is the trail Shadow mentioned. It’s a moderate walk and features the "tunnel" cave that is pet-friendly.
• Cave Tours: While dogs are allowed on the trails and in the designated "walk-through" bluff cave, they are not allowed inside the formal guided cave tours (where the biggest "Cave Bacon" is). We took turns staying topside with the girls while the other went below.
• Flashlights are Key: Even in the small bluff caves, it gets dark quickly. Bring a headlamp or a good flashlight so you can see your footing (and your dogs).
• Pet Policy: Always keep your pups on a 6-foot leash. The terrain can be slippery and there are plenty of interesting "critters" in the Florida Panhandle that your dogs might want to chase!